So long Phil!

More than a month after he left, we finally had a farewell get-together for my ex-boss Phil. I only invited a few people and some of us shared in getting him a Nautica watch which I chose earlier this afternoon.

Drinks were at The Bank across the road and I indulged in one glass of sauvignon blanc.

Nick came to pick me up after the kids slept and we had supper at Lau Pa Sat. As we were walking home from our carpark, we discovered lots of snails in an area that we usually don’t spot them. There must have been at least 50 along the stretch of drain!

Pops was finally discharged yesterday and currently recuperating at Membina. On Sunday, they had to do an urgent op on him because while removing his drainage tube in the morning, it broke. By the afternoon a doctor had operated under LA to remove the tube which had shifted. They’d better not charge us for this extra procedure!

Post op Pops

Pops had his operation 2 days ago and so far, so good. According to the doc it went well and he was in ICU for a couple of days having lost a fair bit of blood but today he was deemed ok to transfer to the high dependency ward.

He looks and feels like he got hit by a bus, kinda regrets proceeding with the op because he has to deal with the pain and inconvenience now of not being able to move about.

He was quite the grumps when I visited today, quite poor thing too lah. Lots of tubes connected, including a blood transfusion one. He should be in hospital for a week or so more until he’s a bit more mobile, then he’ll probably head to Membina to recuperate further.

16 Day Prayers

Met the SSC folks for dinner at No Signboard, Vivo for a quick dinner this evening, Nick is sick so I couldn’t stay very long but I caught a lovely sunset before I reached the restaurant. Also bought shoes before dinner because mine broke during lunch today, right after I parted ways with Joanne at Bugis.

Besides me, there was Jenny, Su, Parames, Michelle and Roger. Food was good, we shared 2 crabs…mmm the white pepper is yummy. It was good catching up, albeit briefly!

Yesterday, we went to the Kallang temple for Aunty Sarda’s 16th day prayers. The funeral guy was supposed to perform the rituals with the priest, but he got held up and Pops had to stand in.

Quite a number of friends and relatives showed up and we ran out of food, because Kavi undercatered, lol….Aunty Sarda would have been fretting.

The boy is off to London tomorrow to watch an EPL match in the name of work...box seats at Stamford Bridge for Chelsea vs Arsenal. Am so jealous!

Send off at sea

Woke up really early for Aunty Sarda’s final send off at sea. There was some miscommunication and we thought we were heading straight to Changi but we (Swana, me, Papa, Aunty Susie and Aunty Saro) ended up going to Mandai first to collect the ashes.

We were first in line to use the Hindu/Sikh room, I didn’t know there was a whole ritual involved. It was very interesting to see the bone and ash remnants on the slab that went into the cremation chamber, there was more bone fragments than I anticipated.

The funeral guy performed more rites, and made several offerings of rice balls with black sesame, fruits, incense and flowers before arranging everything nicely on banana leaves and then eventually into a claypot.

Then it was back onto the minivan for Changi Ferry terminal and we got onto a small boat that didn’t go out very far. It was over before I knew it, the funeral guy dropped the whole cloth-wrapped claypot into the sea, I thought we would actually be pouring the contents into the water. And that was that.

Reached Membina just in time to see the bubs waiting for their school bus. Today is the first day since they skipped yesterday and I had to hide behind a pillar so Nat wouldn’t see me, she was crying and screaming her head off…so poor thing.

Farewell Aunty Sarda

And so it is. Aunty Sarda has left us. About 90 mins after ushering the new year, she took her last breath and was no more.

I had been watching the countdown on TV and had just dozed off for the night when the call from Swana came. I didn’t get to the phone in time, but I saw there was a message in WhatsApp to all the cousins about her departure and then I got on the phone with Swana.

Apparently it was quick and painless. At about 1am, Lita had noticed her breathing getting even harder and Swana and Ma only had a few minutes with her before she took her last gasps, opened her eyes and that was it.

I wouldn’t have been of much help if I had gone over, a doctor from the hospice had to be notified first to certify the death, before Swana could make a police report and call the undertaker so a lot of waiting around involved.

Instead I posted the following on FB before spending 2 hours crying myself to sleep, knowing it was going to be a long day ahead. FB message:

“Goodbye my classy, freakingly tidy, kind, generous, fiercely independent, softie of an aunt. Of all people, you didn’t deserve to go out this way, but the only consolation is that you weren’t in too much pain at the end. Thank you for being a part of our lives, I know you’ll be watching us from up there, ready to give us ‘one kick’ if we step out of line. Love you Aunty Sarda…”

Aunty Sarda had already briefed the undertaker on her preferences a few months ago so he knew what to do when the time came. I got to Membina just before the body arrived, they did a good job of the embalming, she looked pretty.

Word had already got out to all the relatives and friends and the Radhakrishnans were the first to arrive, followed by a steady stream throughout the day. Nick brought the kids over and they took part in the ritual of placing flowers in the coffin. I think they understood Nani had gone to heaven but they kept asking why she was in a ‘bathtub’.

I drafted the obituary and together with Kavi and Kaelash, we went out to place the order with ST Classifieds and then had lunch at Serangoon, where we needed to pick up incense and saris for offerings.

We joked that she held on to complete 2012, she was anal that way. She even chose a nice time and easy date to remember. 1.30 am, 1st Jan 2013. A lot of 13s in there, and the date added up to the no.8, just like her birthday 1st March 1939 which is a 1/3.

Swana, Kevin and Kaelash took turns for the overnight vigil to make sure the oil lamp didn’t extinguish. More people came on the second day, including a bunch of Chitties from KL. It was the first day of school, but we decided to let the girls ponteng.

Aunty Sarda was definitely well-loved and a lot of people came to pay their respects and many more who were there in spirit but couldn’t’ make it due to the short notice of Hindu funerals. Of all days, it was also Mummy’s 60th birthday but celebrations will have to wait.

The funeral was held yesterday, with the rites performed at Membina at 4pm, before departing for cremation at Mandai Hall 4 at 5pm. Me and Nick hitched a ride with Nya Nya to and fro. 

During the final rites, because she was single, a stalk of banana was inserted into her coffin to signify a groom and she was ‘married off’. One of Papa’s friends, Pophatbhai Patel had to step in as ‘uncle’ to marry her off, as there no elderly male uncles around.

Some of the aunts who had been sobbing the last couple of days were surprisingly quiet as the coffin entered the incinerator. In fact the whole viewing gallery was quite quiet, which I think Aunty Sarda would have preferred.

On the way back, I was peckish and Nya Nya kindly stopped at Upper Thomson so I could pick up some ladu, papadams and prata. There was a vegetarian buffet waiting at Membina and before you know it, everything is over. Tomorrow we go to leave her ashes at sea...

Goodbye 2012, Hello 2013

It’s the last day of the year, and all we did was stay at home, well mostly. Nick went to work for half a day, while I was on leave. Tried to catch up on my blog which I’ve been very lazy to update of late.

2 days ago we had dinner at Ben’s, the girls love to lounge on his bed, likening his room to a hotel, just because it has a TV in there! Had a new sink installed too in the common toilet to replace the one that broke. 

Yesterday was occupied with church, lunch at Membina and while Sasha napped, me, Swana and Kevin brought Gigi and Nat to Dripz for some tea time snacking. See the posers in matching purple outfits.

 

We ate dinner at home first and then went over to Membina for some family time. For the 3rd year in a row, there was crabs to be had on New Year’s Eve thanks to Swana’s craving.

Aunty Sarda has not been eating for 8 days and her breathing getting more laboured. She’s been in a deep sleep since she stopped eating, so the end is definitely near. I somehow got the feeling as I left Membina tonight that it was going to be the last time I saw her alive. Nick even left a rosary in her hand and murmured some words of encouragement in Teochew to go peacefully and not be afraid.

It’s been a year of mixed emotions. On one hand was Aunty Sarda’s tumour bombshell, then news that No.3 is on the way, and another niece/nephew. There was decent travel, got to see the Keukenhof, Great Wall of China and all the famous London sights and a first time trip with JGR.

Aside from the new bub, I wonder what 2013 holds in store…

Deepavali 2012

Today was Deepavali and Swana organised a ‘reunion’ dinner at her place last night. The kids dressed Indian but food was Thai, from Jai Thai.

It was chaotic and noisy with so many kids in the house, Aunty Sarda just took it in her stride. Uncle Sagar, Mildred, Uncle Cyril, Ann, Richie, Aunty Diana and Aunty Saro also came by.

Riley, Ananya and Gigi showed off their freshly pierced ears, Nat is now insisting on getting hers done but Nick wants to wait till she’s Pri 1. We’ll see about that! 

The kids played with sparklers and did a round of statue dance to Indian music, plus Gangnam Style.

 

 

 

We had a very quiet holiday, spending the morning at Botanics feeding fish and observing dragonflies followed by lunch at Spaggedies in Orchard Central.

Sasha took to dancing in the street as she heard music blasting through the speakers, she just couldn’t resist it, stripping off her cardigan and dancing with carefree abandon to a couple of songs. She even bowed to an imaginary audience after that!

Mitra's stopover

Aunty Sarda had a couple of special visitors today. 

 

Mitra and Sabrina are in the region attending a series of meetings, well, he’s attending meetings and she gets to tag along thanks to him chalking up lots of spouse points in his company, which he can use towards her travel. They get the VIP treatment everywhere because of his senior position in the World Bank…nice!

They were only in Singapore for a day and made it a priority to visit Aunty Sarda. Aunty Susie and Pops came by too and we had a feast. I bought satay, Ma made buah keluak which Mitra had been craving.

Aunty Sabrina brought beanie dogs for each of the girls, so sweet.

Am glad they got to see Aunty Sarda, I think she’s starting to wind down. Sleeping more, less active and if the symptom guideline is to be believed, then she’s probably got only weeks or up to 2 months left. I hope we get to celebrate Deepavali with her one more time.

Happy birthday Swana!

It’s the big sis’ birthday and last night, Kavi, Manju, John and I surprised her at Membina, hiding in her kitchen when she came home from dinner with Kevin…classic shocked expression!



We took the day off today to utilize the birthday presents we ‘bought’ each other…massages on Groupon! She borrowed our car since Nick’s away and we headed to Goodwood to redeem the vouchers we bought at Spa Rael.



We each had a 90 min session comprising a scrub and massage. I don’t have an appreciation for spas and massages, they do not relax me, and the last massage I did was probably 2 years ago.

The experience today didn’t change my mind, I found it painful more than anything. The scrub was alright but the painful pressure made me tense up which the masseuse mistook as knots in my shoulder which led her to press harder and me to tense up further!

At last the ‘ordeal’ was over and they tried to hard sell us some packages which we politely declined and scooted out of there!


We had a late lunch at Arteastique at Mandarin Gallery, love the blue floral wallpaper. Ordered their tea for 2 set and had ourselves a relaxing afternoon sitting by the window and eavesdropping on the brainless conversation next door between a pretty girl and her groupie best friend. Basically she was torn between 2 men!



H&M was next, Sham was off and came to meet us. I bought a few things including terry cloth robes for the girls. Then we headed to Wilkie to pick up cousin Jean from Malacca and her 2 munchkins Matthew and Megan. Her husband was in town for NATAS and she decided to tag along and surprise Ma and Aunty Sarda.

And boy were they pleasantly surprised when we showed up with Jean!





Sasha was anti-social towards her Malaccan cousins but Nat and Gigi played and ate with Megan and Matthew. The kids whacked the macaroons that topped Swana’s Centre Ps cake.



I’m well on the way to being sick, been trying to fend off a sorethroat and cold since Thursday afternoon but with the kids sneezing and coughing into my face, it was only a matter of time…

Chitty time

Brought the girls to Novena this morning for a quick prayer for Aunty Sarda and Amah, and then we made our way to Membina so I could catch some of Aunty Sarda’s visitors.

One of her very good friends who lives in London - Aunty Yvonne – comes to Singapore every August and yesterday I called her in the off chance that Aunty Sarda’s address book was updated and she was in town. She was upset to hear the news on Aunty Sarda’s condition and said she would visit today, and she did.

Oh, I think I haven’t mentioned yet that after the last hospitalization, it was discovered the tumour has already started growing back and by mutual agreement with the doctors, there will be no further treatment on Aunty Sarda. She herself doesn’t want to go through the radiation, and the doctors also feel it won’t help much and might make things worse. So now it’s a waiting game.

Aunty Yvonne still looks so youthful, her kids are 20 and 16 already, I still remember them as 6 and 2, for that’s how old they were when we stayed with them for a few days in London back in ’98.

After lunch, there were Chitty visitors from KL namely Uncle Ramesh and Ravi and their wives. It was nice to see them, last time would have been Jean’s wedding. Gigi was so shy with Uncle Ramesh who was teasing her about being her boyfriend. Before they left, she declared she liked the uncle with the moustache!



There was a pot luck gathering at Kaelash’s place in the evening, the kids re-enacted The 3 Little Pigs and even Sasha participated, she was so excited. Nat was fawning over Reagan, she wants a baby sister!



I volunteered to make tiramisu and made it last night. Borrowed a hand mixer from Aunty Malar and I was worried I had overbeaten the eggs but it all came together in the end.

As a first attempt, I was really pleased with it. Followed a recipe online but I had added cointreau so the chocolate powder and orange flavour went well together. But my espresso wasn’t strong enough so the coffee taste was missing. I shall strive to perfect it! But texture-wise it felt really authentic, the sponge fingers were just nice, not dry and not oversoaked and the cream was smooth.



The whole tray was finished in a few minutes, I think they liked it!