Happy 2nd birthday Gigi bubba

Miss Gigi Gomez officially turned 2 yesterday! How my bubba has grown from a wee little rat to a cheeky and charming toddler!


I bought her a pair of Minnie Mouse and Daisy Duck pyjamas, she's quite into Mickey Mouse these days. Also gave her a Disney Princess musical instrument set and an angpow.



Her folks threw a small party at home for immediate family though Susil and Natasha put in appearance, they were in town from Perth. Food was ordered from Banana Leaf Apollo and Aunty Diana made her legendary fish cutlets. I must learn that recipe!



There was a blueberry-flavoured Strawberry Shortcake cake from Prima but Nat beat Gigi to the candles. I think Gigi had been quite excited about her birthday leading up to the event and practically matured overnight, understanding she was a big girl now.




She's got a strange way of dancing these days too, almost like throwing punches!

Why? Because the sky is so high

Nat is at the 'Why?' phase at 2yrs 7mths and I am running out of answers! Every conversation is peppered with 'Why?' now, sometimes up to 8 continuous 'whys?' and she'll use different tones too. I try to be patient and explain answers as best I can and when I run out of solutions, I will say, "why not?" or ask her what she thinks. When all else fails, there's the standard, "Because the sky is so high!".

She likes to use 'Because...' a lot when she tries to explain something and because she doesn't yet know how to tell time, she'll say 'Yesternite' when referring to a past event, regardless of whether it was the day before, last week or a month ago. She also uses a lot of 'OK?' when ending a sentence.


Sesame Street is so last season, her latest love is Hi-5 now. She watches it almost daily, especially during lunch when Okto screens it at 12.30pm. Because of the funky outfits worn by the cast, she has been inspired to improvise her own outfits at home, raiding the closet to layer shorts over leggings, or tie blankets around her shoulders as a cape.

She likes to dress herself, a fashionista in the making and recently she's been saying she loves diamonds because they are shiny and tiptoes to retrieve my rings on the dresser to try them on...I did not teach her this! She'll say "I want to wear Mummy's diamond ring" and she'll admire her fingers! She's truly my child!

On and off this past month she has been quite clingy, I don't know whether it's jealousy over Pumpkin or teething pain from her molars. There were a couple of episodes of separation anxiety in the mornings before we went to work, one day she wouldn't let go of my leg for over an hour and in the end I gave up and worked from home. She also insists on sleeping with us every night now.


When she doesn't want us to go to work she would say, "I don't want toys" or "I want cheap Pampers" in reference to us having to go work to earn money because sometimes we would say, "Daddy and Mummy need to work so that we have money to buy diapers and toys for you." So when she 'offers' to cut costs, we have to explain that there are other things we need to pay for like food and the house, car etc.

Because August was the month for National Day, she got quite patriotic. She noticed our state flag hanging everywhere and would point and ask us to look, "Mummy, Singapore flag over there! And over there!". She has memorized the anthem "Majulah Singapura" too, although she calls it "Mari Kita". In fact, she wants it sung during bedtime as a lullaby!

I haven't been very pro-active with the potty training, every time we offer to bring her to the loo when she wants to poop, she declines. Her two favourite spots though are the side of my bed or behind the curtains. She likes her privacy and gets all shy if anybody looks at her.



We really ought to go swimming soon, we went to a party recently and she had fun playing in the water, which was nice and warm after dark.



Little Miss Mak Nenek is also a smartmouth. We recently went to the airport with Mummy, Ben and Wendy while Nick had to work at the NATAS fair. She was jumping around the viewing gallery and playing with the interactive displays when Mummy asked her to pose for photos to which she retorted, "Don't disturb me! You stand over there and see the aeroplanes!"


We brought her to the travel fair thereafter, so she could see why Nick was not around and ever since she's been saying she wants to go to the travel fair.



Speaking of travel, Gigi went on her first plane ride at the end of August. She came back from Perth yesterday and turns 2 today. Apparently she was well-behaved on the flight, the air pressure did not bother her, must be because she was sucking on her pacifier.




Nat missed Gigi and one day she stood at the window and shouted, "Gigi! Where are you?". She and Gigi had a cute reunion yesterday, we had stayed over at Membina since Nick was away and Gigi woke us up at 7 am plus. Nat was groggy but flashed a big grin when she saw who had returned, and then the two of them proceeded to jump on the bed and hug each other.


Gigi has a lot of teeth now and she is coming into her own. She's such an independent girl, totally cheeky and the life of any party. She can sing quite a number of nursery rhymes and she's matured in the past 2 weeks especially after Perth, surviving an extended period away from Nat and Mama Kim.

She too asks "why" all the time, she speaks in full sentences, the latest being "Mummy, I want to put make-up also." She also makes her Strawberry Shortcake doll face the wall when she is naughty and she can wear her own shoes.


She is terrified of animals and anything that makes loud sounds or moves, she only listens to Daddy nowadays and still can't really differentiate her colours (everything is pink or yellow). She can recite A-Z but cannot recognize most of the alphabets.

They grow sooooo fast, I am going to miss this stage but luckily I get to relive it all again through Natasha. And hopefully Swana will add another to the equation. Sometime this century would be nice!

Roll over, roll over!

The little pumpkin is a regular roller at 5 months. She favours rolling to her left and assuming the Sphinx pose, but occasionally still gets her left arm stuck underneath. Thanks to all her rolling and sleeping on her sides, her head shape is slowly evening out. Sometimes she kicks a fuss when she's trying to sleep and is not on her side, she much prefers it to lying flat on her back now. And she likes to be upright when she's awake.



I am beginning to realise what a complainer she is. When she's tired and sleepy, she tends to screech till someone passes her the pacifier or turns her to her side and gets very impatient for her milk in the middle of night when she wakes between 4-5 am.

She likes doing crunches, strengthening those abdominal muscles and automatically tries to raise herself up when you hold her hands. Sometimes she can support her body weight when she stands upright on my lap. Her weight is around 6.7kg.


She drools like there's no tomorrow, much more than Nat used to drool. No teeth have erupted yet but she constantly has a rash on her skin or dry patches on her face. I think she has sensitive skin, plus her poop patterns are still inconsistent, now averaging 3-4 days.

She is just about on a 4hr schedule for milk, drinking about 120ml per feed. I still express 4 times a day, yielding only 450-480ml per day enough for 70% of her feeds. Lugging the pump to work has been a drag, will be cutting back soon so that I stop once she's 6 months.


She can sort of hold her milk bottle and gets all excited when she spots the bottle, especially when hungry. She will kick her legs and reach out to grab the milk. Her hand movements are still awkward and jerky but she knows how to pull her mittens off. She can also follow your movements when you walk around the room or wave a finger across her face. Lita and Wendy can make her laugh very easily, I love the sound of her giggling.



Earlier in August she went to Amah's house for the first time, I think Amah thought she was a doll! I get a lot of comments that she looks like a boy, so I bought her some hairbands.





Nat still demands a lot of our time so I feel bad that Sasha is neglected quite often. I have to make more time for her, poor bub!

Going the distance

Of late, I have been getting disturbing news of marriages breaking down which leaves me to wonder, does nobody hold wedding vows sacred anymore?

In our parents’ and grandparents’ time, spouses stood by each other. Divorce was taboo and people stayed together even if they were not happy.

I don’t wish for my friends and family to be stuck in unhappy marriages but when such situations arise, I wish both parties would put in a greater effort to find out what went wrong and make a commitment to change the status quo and work things out. If it still fails, then at least they tried. But don’t quit without even giving the other person a chance to make things right.

In this day and age, it’s all too easy to throw in the towel when things are not going well instead of trying to make things work. I know every situation is different and I can’t expect everyone to be old-fashioned like me when it comes to love and marriage but I do wish when people make the commitment to spend the rest of their lives with someone, they actually mean it and not just when times are good.

Sometimes a situation does warrant a break-up i.e. adultery, paedophilia, substance abuse, violence but other than these I can’t think of any other major motivations to end a marriage, provided the two parties were emotionally ready and got married for the right reasons in the first place like mutual love, respect, companionship, friendship, shared values, shared goals, common interests and of course some passion. A good sense of humour goes a long way too.

I suppose if the foundation wasn’t strong to begin with then a marriage would be susceptible to stress and doomed almost from the start.

As a marriage progresses and reality sets in, expectations are bound to change, responsibilities grow and our personalities also evolve. Things become routine and once you add kids to the equation, that’s when the real work begins.

It’s easy to drift apart when all your attention is focused on the children. Children are a distraction and they do command a lot of time, but you don’t have to spend all your time and energy with them. It doesn’t make you a bad mother to outsource their care once in a while, I am selfish that way.

I make time for me (too much time Swana would say!), and I try to ensure me and Nick have time for ourselves, if not a fortnightly date night, then at least once a month. Although, convincing him to go out is another story! Our roles are a little reversed; he’s more attached to the kids than I am and feels guilty spending any time away from them but I have no such guilt!

As I write this I am reminded that there is more I could do for my husband. I know he would appreciate it if I spend less, save more and devote all my free time to the kids instead of surfing the net, blogging, and purchasing yet another dress on eBay.

I think he would worship the ground I walk on if I wake up early to make his breakfast and coffee, see him out when he leaves the house and greet him at the door when he returns… like his grandmother used to do for his grandpa. He can be quite traditional that way and as much as I would like to, mornings are a mad rush when one is working.

Anyway, going back to drifting apart, I think it’s something that is within our control to not let happen. Do things together, don’t lead such separate lives. I don’t mean being joined at the hip all the time, but get together every now and then for a meal, snuggle on the sofa and watch TV, catch a movie, go for a walk, go for a drive….and talk.

Hold hands when you go out, give each other a peck or two each day. A hug goes a long way in making someone feel loved. And no matter what, don’t get lazy in the bedroom to the point that you can’t remember the last time you did ‘it’. (I shall not elaborate more as I have young readers!).

Bottomline is, if you sense someone distancing themselves from you, nip it in the bud and do something to address it because if you let it build-up, it might be too late one day to reverse things. Oftentimes, each party is waiting for the other to make the first move but men being men, they can be obtuse sometimes!

Our destiny is in our own hands…

Not so nice fried rice

Went for the gala night performance of Fried Rice Paradise last night, after Nick received complimentary tickets at the last minute.

Was in two minds about going, because it would mean missing Swana's birthday but then again, they were pretty good seats and I had wanted to watch the show so Swana forgave me for ditching her.

As the president was in attendance, we had to be seated by 6.45pm plus dress a little more formally since it was the gala night in celebration of People Association's 50th anniversary. Wore my new DKNY dress and spotted lots of who's who in Singapore, people you regularly see in Tatler. That Michael Palmer is kinda cute, ha ha. But me and Nick didn't schmooze during the cocktails, we stayed in a corner sipping wine before waiting for the buffet lines to clear.





Snacked a little, the special fried rice was not paradise found, in fact, it smelled a little off to me, so I didn't eat it! The show itself was ok, not as funny as anticipated but I was impressed by Alemay Fernandez who usually sings jazz in our local bars. She played a middle-aged Indian woman and she was good at it.

Went to Membina after the show to eat leftovers and drop off milk. At least I managed to see my sister on her birthday. Happy birthday again Swana-poo!

Dressaholic

Help! I am addicted to printed dresses! Just purchased another 6 via eBay over the past few weeks, and I blame Swana for making me open my own PayPal account because previously I would exercise some self-control when tapping into her account. But now, it's anything goes!

I think I shall call my dress collection a hobby. Some people collect Star Wars, some people Hello Kitty, but I collect dresses. Here are the latest additions, which amazingly all fit well!

1) Diane von Furstenberg Lune dress in Orientalist Diamonds. The retail price here was $660 I think, even after 30% sale was $462. I was mulling over this dress for the longest time, kept going to the boutique and couldn't decide between the wrap or non-wrap version. Finally decided on the non-wrap and bought online for US$185, saving about SGD200. A pricey dress but something to be handed down to the girls when they're older, will be vintage by then!


2) DKNY Scoopneck dress. Fell in love with the contrasting B&W prints and the hint of red. US retail price was US$245, Singapore was selling $490, after 40% discount was $294 but I purchased at US$99, saving about SGD$150.


3) Maggy London / London Times cotton sateen dress. Loved the print and the price was gentle on the pocket at US$19.95. It's a brand that can be found on Nordstrom's and I found a site on eBay that sells store returns etc, and it was 1 pc only and in my size. No brainer!


4) Maggy London / London Times cotton sateen dress. You know I'm a sucker for blue dresses, fell in love with the print instantly and HAD to have it.


5) Ann Taylor Linen tunic dress. I wish Ann Taylor was available here, they have some nice things from time to time. Another blue printed dress, love things with contrasting borders.


6) Ann Taylor portrait floral shift dress. Just purchased yesterday. This one came out last year I think, and was featured on O' magazine if I was not mistaken. Such a pretty pretty dress and wasn't available in my size when I wanted to buy from the Ann Taylor website. Would look for it from time to time and when I found it a couple of weeks ago, it was like hitting the jackpot. But then the seller replied to say there had been a mistake and the size 4 dress had already been sold to someone else. Was bummed but a few days ago I found a size 6 and couldn't bear to wait till the auction ended and made an offer to the seller which she accepted. Can't wait to receive, hope it fits!

Flower power funeral for Uncle Jaya

Today was the floral send-off for Uncle Jaya, who passed away on Sunday 15 August at 6.41 am. I suppose he picked a good day because 15 August is also India's Independence Day, Sri Aurobindo's birthday and Assumption, plus it's one day before Amah's death anniversary so it's easy to remember.

Swana ordered flowers for Sharmila and added a wreath for the rest of the family too. In the obituary that appeared on Tuesday, there was a request that those attending the funeral wear bright floral prints. Aunty Gowrie and the kids did not want it to be a sad occasion and my only dilemma was deciding what to wear since 85% of my wardrobe is floral! Mummy was complaining my final choice was too bright and she tried to make me wear a jacket but Jeanette was even brighter!

Surprisingly I didn't cry as much as I normally do at funerals, maybe because the kids kept it lighthearted. Rhubesh gave a short eulogy and he, Kaelash and Kavi sang 'You Are Always on My Mind' by Willie Nelson together with Thanesh. That was touching, especially since Uncle Jaya sang it to Kaelash at his wedding and the words had meaning.



Over the past few days, we took turns attending the wake at Chai Chee. Though things were solemn during services and when people paid respects, the rest of the time it was almost festive. I suppose he would have appreciated that and would have joined in with a beer if he could!

There was one strange man who came on the last night of the wake, his name is Vincent Loo and he claims to have been a recruit under Uncle Jaya in the seventies. Though we don't doubt his story, we concluded he's not all quite there. He spent over 15 mins writing in the condolence book, about his career history and gave out his handphone number to everyone, even offering his ATM cards to Aunty Gowrie to withdraw whatever she wanted!

On the day of the funeral, he came in a suit, sat right in the front rows which were reserved for family, went up to mumble a few words when the pastor invited people to share their memories and gave his employment history again. He would also 'Amen' loudly and sing enthusiastically.

Whenever immediate family were invited to do something, like place flowers on the white coffin, he would be right there with them. When it came to the cremation, he wanted to stand in the front row too until Nick not-so-gently guided him away. Funny man. We joked maybe he was a guardian angel and the whole loony behaviour was an act...but I don't think so.

Going to nap, we had left the kids at Membina last night in anticipation of the early start today but at 2.30 am Swana called because Nat was hysterically crying for her daddy and refusing to sleep. Nick rushed over and brought her home by 3 am and then he couldn't sleep after. Soooo zonked...