Coffee...I need coffee

It's been 3 nights in a row that Natalie has not had continuous sleep. On Monday morning I had to have a cup of coffee to perk me up and I think I will need another one later today. I'm not usually a coffee drinker, only when absolutely necessary but the rugrat is forcing me to down lattes and mochas.

On Monday night, Mummy offered to take the night shift after seeing how tired me and Nick were, and Natalie disturbed Ma at 4.30 and 6.45 am. Last night, we put her in our room - she went to bed at 1 am, woke up at 4 and again at 6.15. Sigh...all that progress down the drain.

Will have to evaluate her routine and re-adjust her body clock. I tried feeding her extra in the evening in the hope that she would be full enough to last the night, but to no avail. She has her own time and target...I need to read more chapters in The Baby Whisperer book and get her onto a routine pronto!

Cranky doodle

Wonder if one can PMS if not ovulating…

Lately I find myself slightly irritable whenever the MIL says something or does something pertaining to Natalie. Maybe it’s her tone or maybe her anxiety is really starting to get to me that I find myself needing to vent today.

Yesterday she came over for dinner and played almost non-stop with Nat. Not that I mind, but she kept picking up and putting down Nutty even though her knees were jammed, she had to take a deep breath whenever she stood. She sang nursery rhymes all evening, which I think over-stimulated Natalie and messed up some of her routines, because my dear child could not fall asleep till the MIL had left at 10 pm.

She was so tired that she didn’t wake up for her last evening feed, which in turn led to a grumpy me this morning…having woken up at 2.30 am and 5.30 am. After the 5.30 am feed, Nutty was restless and didn’t sleep till almost 6.45 am. Nick gave up trying to go back to sleep and instead went in to work earlier. We had made so much progress with Nutty sleeping 6 – 7 hours interrupted recently…I hope things return to normalcy tonight. The last time something similar happened was also after a visit by the MIL.

MIL also brought CDs of nursery rhymes for me to burn yesterday. She wants Natalie to listen to them everyday, and went out of her way to borrow some discs. I had told her there was no hurry cos’ I prefer to choose the music myself and I had a hunch I wouldn’t like the discs. I was proven right when I played the first one…they were all a bit ching-chong, the kids singing had Singaporean accents, I don’t want Nutty to pick up their pronunciations. I think there’s plenty of time to teach her nursery rhymes, but now I shall just have to go out and buy my own CDs before the MIL visits again, otherwise I will be questioned how come I’m not playing Natalie any of the CDs she borrowed.

Before the MIL came yesterday, I also had to cut Nutty’s nails for I knew she would comment on her granddaughter still wearing mittens. Can’t help it if Natalie has a habit of scratching her face, I would rather she wear mittens than scar herself. Even when I trim and file her nails to the shortest possible length, her nails can still be felt from certain angles but if I cut any deeper, I risk cutting her flesh.

The MIL doesn’t think I do a good enough job and bought her own scissors last week, despite knowing I have an infant grooming kit with nailclippers and blunt edge scissors. She says that Nutty’s hands will be a different colour from her arms if she continues to wear mittens, I don’t really see how that’s possible since the munchkin doesn’t go out in the sun. But she claims it will happen, sun or no sun. Sigh…

There was something else that the MIL said yesterday that irked me. She said she didn’t like Natalie having so many nicknames since she had a proper name. I don’t see what the big deal is, they are terms of endearment and some are cute, even her own son is guilty of calling Natalie different things. To give you an idea, here is a list of Natalie’s nicknames so far:

1) Munchkin
2) Junior
3) Nutella
4) Nutty
5) Nuttypoo
6) Fattypoo
7) Nutty-coco
8) Miss Kaypoh

9) Miss Boh-gay

10) Rascal

11) Rugrat

12) Chubbykins

Before the paranoid MIL left, she called me into Natalie’s room to tell and show me something. She thought that the area around Natalie’s mouth looked blue black and asked me to take a look. I said that it was the dim room lighting casting shadows on her face but she was not convinced. She thinks the ‘bruising’ was caused by Natalie sucking too hard on the milk bottles! She asked me to monitor, and when she was at the door, she told Nick about it too. I jokingly said that Nat had a moustache hence the discolouration. But when I checked Nat’s mouth later, there was really nothing there…she’s sooooo paranoid, it’s irritating at times!

Ugh, ok, enough venting…am starting to feel guilty. The MIL really is a very kind and generous person, she’s just too kancheong!

Ata's send off

Ata's funeral took place yesterday. I had never participated in a traditional Hindu funeral so it was quite an interesting experience. The mood was generally sombre but not to the point of being depressing. I guess most people felt that she was already quite old, so no need to be too upset. Us grandchildren could even joke around.

The rituals started about 2 pm, everybody took turns to anoint her with oil etc and lay flowers in the coffin. There were lots of flowers and garlands, and even saris and sarongs were laid inside. Some coins were also tossed in, jasmine oil was poured over her and something gold placed inside Ata's mouth. I have no idea about the significance of all these things, but her coffin looked lovely with all the flowers and smelled lovely too. I think she would have been pleased.

At about 4 pm, it was time to leave Sengkang for the crematorium. The pall bearers carried the coffin down the 3 flights of stairs, preceded by a representative from the casket company blowing on a conch shell hauntingly. Once she was placed inside the hearse, the grandchildren and women walked around the vehicle several times, before it slowly made its way to the main road, with everybody walking behind.

Most of us took the bus to Mandai, I am not a big fan of cremations there because the coffins are delivered to the furnace on a machine, its all very clinical. The service halls are nice though, all wood and glass with lots of natural light.

Anyways, Ata's coffin was placed at the front, surrounded by illuminated panels. More rites were conducted by the men present and then the family members added a final garland. Thereafter, the 3 main men representing the family, i.e. Papa, Uncle Baba and Rhubesh walked around her body 3 times, with Papa bearing a clay pot on his shoulders. A hole was made at every round and Uncle Baba who walked behind him helped to splash the water onto Ata.

After the last round, Papa had to take 3 steps forward then drop the pot behind his shoulder and walk out of the hall without looking back, while the rest of us moved on to the viewing gallery. As Ata's coffin was conveyed to the furnace by an unmanned forklift, those inside the viewing gallery chanted some prayers and before you know it, the coffin is transferred into the furnace and the wooden doors close mechanically, signalling the end of everything.

Once back at Sengkang, me and Nick went to collect Natalie from Ben's house nearby. Wendy helped to babysit all afternoon while we were at the funeral and she survived, ha ha! Next time I know who to call! When we got back to Compassvale, we ate the vegetarian food catered from Ananda Bhavan and then headed home.

It's been a tiring two days but I am happy for Ata. She can finally be reunited with her parents and other relatives. We were joking that once she got to heaven she might kick her husband for abandoning her all those years ago...I can almost picture it!

Bye bye Ata

My grandmother passed away peacefully early yesterday morning, on the 32nd wedding anniversary of my parents. The news did not come as a surprise as the family knew it was only a matter of time, she had been in hospital the last couple of weeks for bedsores and loss of appetite.

Just as her condition was improving, on Monday she had breathing difficulties and was put on a respirator. The doctor had advised that the family come to see her immediately and we were all mentally prepared for her to leave us that day, however by late evening, her breathing wasn't as laboured as before so we thought there was still hope yet.

But yesterday morning, the dreaded call came at about 6.30 am, Cousin Pam called me to deliver the news. Even though I knew she had to leave us eventually, I was still very saddened. At least Aunty Sarda and Aunty Susie reached the hospital in time to witness her last breath, she died just a couple of minutes after they arrived. The official cause of death was pneumonia.

As the youngest granddaughter, I was always told she had a soft spot for me. She used to live with us when I was younger and look after me, and relatives would often comment that I looked like her a little. What I will miss most about her is that despite her old age, she still had a sharp tongue, often making sarcastic remarks when there were long gaps in between our visits. Her memory was amazing, she could speak fluent Teochew and she was still keeping track of 4-D in her 90s! She kept to a very healthy diet during her lifetime, but she used to roll her own tobacco cigarettes. In fact, I remember sucking on some empty rolls when I was younger.

While she had a very long life (103 yrs according to her IC), she also had a very tough life. By Indian standards, she married late - I think 29, but that marriage did not last long for she was widowed by her mid-30s during the Japanese Occupation, with 4 young children ranging from age 2 to 5 to bring up. It was not easy, but she managed with the help of the extended family.

I'm going to miss my grandmother, but I am really glad Natalie got to meet her earlier last month. Ata had said a long time ago that she would only die after I have a child, and she kept her word, passing on just under 3 months from Nutty's arrival.

The whole of yesterday was spent running errands preparing for the wake and then hanging out at Sengkang. She liked white, so we ensured we got her a white casket and went to Far East Flora to get some white flowers.

I think my grandma is the original Hot Pink Chick. Aunty Sarda fished out her wedding sari to lay on her body and it turned out to be a bright pink. I never knew that, since all the photos were black and white...I hope I get to keep some of her things as souvenirs. I lost the diamond nose stud she bequeathed to me years ago, maybe it will turn up somewhere.

In the meantime, Ata - wherever you are, I love you. Thank you for being my grandmother, I will miss you.

Strolling along

Natalie finally stepped out in her Lulu Guinness stroller last Saturday...I'd been itching to use it ever since I got it, but had to wait till she was big enough. Used the pink and purple Life Baby bolster and pillow Susan gave me to make Nutty a little more comfortable, but I think she enjoys sitting in the stroller, she gets to see things in motion!

Me and Swana met Sherene for lunch at City Hall and pigged out on Thai Express. My worst fear came true when the little munchkin pooped just after we had finished lunch...I had been dreading cleaning her poop in public! Off Swana and I went in search of a loo with a changing station, she pooped quite a bit so lucky I had an extra pair of hands to hold her legs otherwise she would squirm and kick her own diaper!

But once relieved, she was all smiley. She even laughed...I think she enjoys shopping as much as her mummy as evident by her smiles!

Psycho or polite?

Had the weirdest bus driver earlier this week while on my way home from work. Boarded a 196 from UIC building on Tuesday and at first I thought he was ultra-polite because he greeted every passenger that boarded with a 'Welcome'.

However, as the bus made its way down Shenton, I got the feeling that something was not quite right. First of all, the ‘welcome’ sounded very robotic, no warmth in it. And then he started burping and sighing very loudly, and I mean loudly. So much so that I felt like gagging whenever he burped. Very gassy indeed.

Anyways, what tickled me was how he said goodbye to passengers alighting. Everytime someone stood at the exit, he would start chanting robotically in between burps:

Thank you, goodbye
Have a nice day, goodbye.
Welcome, welcome
Xie xie ni, zai jian
Thank you, have a nice day
Goodbye, welcome

And he did this at literally every stop, even when no one was alighting! Is it me or do you find it weird as well? Either he’s ultra polite and vying for some courtesy award or, something’s not quite right…

Tummy time!

Me and the rugrat have been hanging at home the last couple of days, I still have maternity leave to clear and took 2 days off this week while the boss was in KL. Mummy went to JB yesterday and was out most of this morning, so me and Nutty got some quality time together. And whenever I have her all to myself I start snapping away like some deranged paparazzo.

Ma and Nick hate it when I put her on her tummy, they think I'm forcing her to prematurely lift her head when she's not ready. But my rationale is, if she doesn't get any tummy time, she'll never learn because she is always on her back. So once or twice a day for a couple of minutes, I flip her over onto her tummy to strengthen her neck muscles. Always under supervision of course.

Her head might flop about and she might struggle a little but I don't think she really minds, for she doesn't throw any tantrums. On the contrary, I think she's enough of an inquisitve child to try out new things.

The hubby is away in Tokyo these few days...hope he brings Nutty back a little kimono!