Yikes, D-Day is just under 6 weeks away and I'm starting to panic. So many things are not done yet, and I only have a few precious weeks of couple-life left...after that, our lives will be forever changed.
On one hand, I can't wait to meet Natalie, am dying to know what she looks like. But on the other hand, I'm terrified of the actual labour and delivery. Back in the early days, it all seemed so far away, but as we lead up to D-Day, reality is starting to set in.
Little Ms Low-Pain-Threshold a.k.a me thought that I could somehow manage without the drugs or painkillers...but I think I shall not attempt to be a 'hero'. I can't even stand normal cramps, don't know what made me think I could withstand that pain magnified by a 100? So I will opt for the epidural methinks, even though I have fears of flinching while it's being administered and becoming paralysed! Touchwood.
In the past few weeks, we've been shopping around for things and stocking up on essentials. On Saturday, the crib will be delivered, along with the Graco playpen sponsored by Swana and Kevin. However, Natalie's room is still a mess and being used as a storeroom currently. I figure she'll be in our room for the first few months hence no real hurry. I can slowly do up her room during my 12-week maternity leave. I'm thinking multi-coloured pastel walls and a built-in wardrobe on one wall, and moving the study table and laptop to my purple room...
Nick has also been talking about packing the hospital kit for the past week, but we haven't gotten down to it yet. He's also been bugging me to wake up early so we can go to work together, he's concerned about discomfort to me walking out to the bus-stop and standing on buses, or going into labour suddenly. We tried it a couple of times this week, but both times, the 196 bus I needed to take was jam-packed and I ended up being late anyway since there was no space to board and I had to wait for the next bus. So looks like we have to revert to leaving home at different times.
But all these worries and insecurities are nothing compared to the thought of being responsible for another life, for the rest of my life. What kind of mother will I be? I keep saying she's gonna be very deprived with no TV, sweets, junk food etc but will I succumb and spoil her?
I don't want a spoilt brat, is it too much to ask for a well-balanced, well-adjusted, streetsmart, non-whiny, intelligent, healthy, sporty, feminine, morally upright, disciplined, confident, independent, respectful, witty, good-looking and sociable daughter? Someone who can kick a ball with the best of them, yet colour co-ordinate her wardrobe?
I guess it will all boil down to how we raise her, the values and morals we impart and the education and support she receives. Children are like sponges so we're gonna have to be very mindful of what we say and do around her so as to set the right examples.
I hope all goes OK with the delivery and that she's born healthy with everything intact and in working order. Everytime she squirms in my stomach it's uncomfortable, yet comforting at the same time. To know that she's alive and kicking and hiccuping, never mind the pressure on the pelvis or the displacement of my organs!
Even though the pregnancy has been pretty easy with minimal discomforts, I've already decided to reward myself with some bling by July. Have hinted to Nick about a push present - you know, where fathers reward their wives for carrying their child for 9 months and going through hours of labour etc - but I'm not holding my breath. He's too practical to spend on jewellery when we have an extra mouth to feed but I think I deserve a treat still...so trilogy ring, here I come!
It's supposed to represent past, present and future so I guess it will be pretty symbolic. Past would be my singleton self, present would be my status as wife and mother, and the future is Natalie. Plus anyway, I hit the big 3-0 this year, so 3 diamonds for 3 decades! See, all planned already! Can't wait till July!
On one hand, I can't wait to meet Natalie, am dying to know what she looks like. But on the other hand, I'm terrified of the actual labour and delivery. Back in the early days, it all seemed so far away, but as we lead up to D-Day, reality is starting to set in.
Little Ms Low-Pain-Threshold a.k.a me thought that I could somehow manage without the drugs or painkillers...but I think I shall not attempt to be a 'hero'. I can't even stand normal cramps, don't know what made me think I could withstand that pain magnified by a 100? So I will opt for the epidural methinks, even though I have fears of flinching while it's being administered and becoming paralysed! Touchwood.
In the past few weeks, we've been shopping around for things and stocking up on essentials. On Saturday, the crib will be delivered, along with the Graco playpen sponsored by Swana and Kevin. However, Natalie's room is still a mess and being used as a storeroom currently. I figure she'll be in our room for the first few months hence no real hurry. I can slowly do up her room during my 12-week maternity leave. I'm thinking multi-coloured pastel walls and a built-in wardrobe on one wall, and moving the study table and laptop to my purple room...
Nick has also been talking about packing the hospital kit for the past week, but we haven't gotten down to it yet. He's also been bugging me to wake up early so we can go to work together, he's concerned about discomfort to me walking out to the bus-stop and standing on buses, or going into labour suddenly. We tried it a couple of times this week, but both times, the 196 bus I needed to take was jam-packed and I ended up being late anyway since there was no space to board and I had to wait for the next bus. So looks like we have to revert to leaving home at different times.
But all these worries and insecurities are nothing compared to the thought of being responsible for another life, for the rest of my life. What kind of mother will I be? I keep saying she's gonna be very deprived with no TV, sweets, junk food etc but will I succumb and spoil her?
I don't want a spoilt brat, is it too much to ask for a well-balanced, well-adjusted, streetsmart, non-whiny, intelligent, healthy, sporty, feminine, morally upright, disciplined, confident, independent, respectful, witty, good-looking and sociable daughter? Someone who can kick a ball with the best of them, yet colour co-ordinate her wardrobe?
I guess it will all boil down to how we raise her, the values and morals we impart and the education and support she receives. Children are like sponges so we're gonna have to be very mindful of what we say and do around her so as to set the right examples.
I hope all goes OK with the delivery and that she's born healthy with everything intact and in working order. Everytime she squirms in my stomach it's uncomfortable, yet comforting at the same time. To know that she's alive and kicking and hiccuping, never mind the pressure on the pelvis or the displacement of my organs!
Even though the pregnancy has been pretty easy with minimal discomforts, I've already decided to reward myself with some bling by July. Have hinted to Nick about a push present - you know, where fathers reward their wives for carrying their child for 9 months and going through hours of labour etc - but I'm not holding my breath. He's too practical to spend on jewellery when we have an extra mouth to feed but I think I deserve a treat still...so trilogy ring, here I come!
It's supposed to represent past, present and future so I guess it will be pretty symbolic. Past would be my singleton self, present would be my status as wife and mother, and the future is Natalie. Plus anyway, I hit the big 3-0 this year, so 3 diamonds for 3 decades! See, all planned already! Can't wait till July!
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